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We Bought an $800 Car and Took a Road Trip in CHINA!

We Bought an $800 Car and Took a Road Trip in CHINA!

Prozzie – We know it’s electrical, we can’t get it to a mechanic
C-milk – She’s dying, she’s dying dude. Oh no! Prozzie – we have to get there! We have to make it to Renhua or Shaoguan. C-milk – We already passed Shaoguan.
Prozzie – Shit. Prozzie – It’s not like the west where you can call a private tow company or something. C-milk – Oh shit. C-milk – Dude we’re dying.
Prozzie – The other issue – C-milk – Stay alive!
Prozzie – God damn this thing, come on! C-milk – No we’re not okay, dude, it’s dying. Prozzie – Keep it up to 3,000 (RPM).
C-milk – I can’t, I’m floored! C-milk – This is dangerous, we’re on a corner. Prozzie – All my stuff breaks in all my videos. C-milk – Let’s get the fuck out of the car. Prozzie – We don’t need it. C-milk – Worse case Ontario (scenario) the cops showed up. C-milk – They said that we’re not allowed to be in the car. C-milk – We got to get the keys out, dude. C-milk – Holy dick! C-milk – Me and Prozzie took a trip up to this mountain it’s called “Dick Mountain”. C-milk – At this point a lot of caves that look like vaginas. C-milk – Not only are these rock formations absolutely incredible but there is all kinds of really, really cool stuff like ancient tombs and stuff. C-milk – The polls are in. Thank you to all the people on Patreon that told me what you guys want to see more of it really helps me make video ideas and stuff. C-milk – You guys said you wanted to see more travel vlogs and more presentation style stuff. C-milk – I decided to go do a travel vlog today. C-milk – Prozzie actually got a hold of me and told me his work isn’t going to start for the next couple of days. C-milk – So we decided to do a road trip. So I am going to my garage right now to get my leather jacket, bike. C-milk – My bike has not been starting very well lately. C-milk – As for me I am very excited to get back on the road. C-milk – I am unfortunately really, really sick. So excuse the coughing and sniffling along the way. C-milk – Anyway I’ll catch you guys on the road. C-milk – Are you *expletive* kidding me? C-milk – Are you *expletive* with me right now? Prozzie – Guess who’s back in business. C-milk – How did you get it going? C-milk – You gave up on it! Prozzie – I know it’s a weird story cause I was just down in my garage. Prozzie – This thing has been down there for how long, 7 months? C-milk – 7 months!
Prozzie – Something like that. Prozzie – I just decided to put the key in and decided to start it because it wasn’t starting before at all. Prozzie – It just died one day and I just left it there and it started right up. C-milk – No *expletive* way! Prozzie – That much dust on it but yeah. C-milk – Excuse me I’m pretty sick. C-milk – This is amazing! Prozzie – I’m unbelievably excited.
C-milk – It’s going again. Prozzie – Running like it never died.
C-milk – But you didn’t fix it. Prozzie – No, it fixed itself. Prozzie – Just come around here I’m going to show you something. C-milk – Okay. Prozzie – It’s pretty clear that someone tried to break into the car. Prozzie – If you look that handle has actually come off.
C-milk – Oh shit! Prozzie – Then someone tried to hot-wire the car.
C-milk – Oh my god! C-milk – It smells awful. Prozzie – Yeah. C-milk – In an effort to hot-wire the car they potentially fixed it. Prozzie – That may have happened. C-milk – They could have been driving it around. C-milk – You never know.
Prozzie – Yeah. C-milk – It smells like farts in there, dude. C-milk – So when you said you wanted to go on a road trip you meant in this car. Prozzie – Yeah. C-milk – Let’s go! Prozzie – There is no guarantee we’re gonna make it. C-milk – That’s freaking awesome! I’m happy, let’s do it, let’s go, let’s go! Prozzie – Are you sure? That one looks pretty important. C-milk – It smells like my Grandma’s House. Prozzie – Yeah. C-milk – Oh it’s awful! Prozzie – Guys it’s your fault. C-milk – Let’s get some drinks and hit the road. C-milk – Then we’ll decide a destination.
Prozzie – Yeah. C-milk – That’s how road trips work with us. Prozzie – Yeah we don’t know where we’re going C-milk – Again in the commotion of trying to set up for a faux road trip C-milk – #1 I thought we were going to be on the bikes. C-milk – #2 I didn’t pick out a place to go. Did you have anywhere in mind? Prozzie – No. C-milk – Okay. Prozzie – So we’re gonna have to stop somewhere and sort that out. C-milk – I don’t think so, I think we just drive and #2 every time I just randomly do a road trip I always want to go north. I just want to go north. Prozzie – Well we can’t go south because then we would be driving in the ocean C-milk – We know. Take a left. Prozzie – That’s just ridiculous C-milk – So we’re going to go North if we take a left here. C-milk – Go north until either our bodies can’t handle it or our car can’t handle it. Prozzie – Which do you think is going to go first us or the car? C-milk – I think the car is going to die first that’s for sure. C-milk – So Prozzie was just telling me that at 100 km/h (62 mp/h) #1 The body is shaking like a banshee it’s insane C-milk – Dude, the hood is rattling up and down! Prozzie – No it’s not. C-milk – It is! Prozzie – It’s not. C-milk – I’m not even joking, dude. C-milk – It’s going like this C-milk – It’s like waving.
Prozzie – It’s closed. C-milk – You sure?
Prozzie – Yeah. C-milk – You latched it right? C-milk – If that opens, dude, you realize –
Prozzie – I’m so scared now from your commentary. Prozzie – I don’t want to go this fast. Feel my wheel. C-milk – We’re at 3000 at 100 km/h oh my god that’s shaking! Prozzie – Yeah. C-milk – Oh no! You’re sure you latched that, right? C-milk – Dude, we just ran over a tarp and it was a big tarp! Prozzie – It’s still under my car.
C-milk – It’s still under your car. Prozzie – I’m not 100% sure what to do about it. C-milk – I know. Should we rip it out? Prozzie – I don’t know what to do.
C-milk – I smell smoke. C-milk – It’s probably burning, dude. C-milk – Oh my god! C-milk – Dude, I smell burning plastic! Prozzie – I think I should stop.
C-milk – Dude, we got to pull the hell over. Prozzie – This guy pulled over.
C-milk – These guys pulled over. I just don’t want to die, dude. C-milk – Shit, dude. Prozzie – That’s hot.
C-milk – Yeah. Prozzie – smells very hot.
C-milk – That’s burning. C-milk – Yeah that’s a tarp. C-milk – There we are, there’s the culprit, my friend. C-milk – I’m not littering, that’s not my tarp. Prozzie – That smells awful.
C-milk – I told you. Prozzie – Minor hic, we only been on the road for what?
C-milk – 10 minutes. Prozzie – That was a minor hiccup C-milk – Okay, so we ran over a tarp and because the awful design of this car it managed to get stuck on every corner. C-milk – Because it’s so sharp and then catch on fire. Prozzie – We been on the road 10 minutes and we’ve been on fire. C-milk – I’m worried now, I’m worried! Prozzie – That was not the car’s fault or our fault the tarp came out of nowhere. C-milk – That’s true. Prozzie – it didn’t look both ways. C-milk – I was looking at these signs and I thought if you were a foreigner and you didn’t speak Chinese and you tried to pronounce the romanization here this would be called “Schlong”. C-milk – It would be, Schlong, dude. C-milk – To us we can’t even read it like that. Prozzie – Oh.
C-milk – We have to pay. C-milk – This is our first checkpoint. I don’t think we’ll get caught on this. C-milk – If we’re gonna get caught it’s not going to be on this stretch this is too short. C-milk – Here we go, is she cute?
Prozzie – No. C-milk – One little quirk that I pointed out cause Prozzie’s forgotten about all the shitty aspects of this car C-milk – is that piece of paper he had to lodge in the mirror otherwise it falls out. Prozzie – Prozzie – Yeah, don’t take it out. C-milk – Then he was talking to me about how stressful it is to keep the wheel straight because there is something that happens. C-milk – Be careful. Prozzie – My wheel is not straight. I don’t know if that makes sense.
C-milk – Yeah, it’s not straight. Prozzie – If I let go it just really pulls C-milk – Let go. C-milk – Dude. Prozzie – I’m not doing that by the way C-milk – So we’re going to drive 400 km in a car that pulls. Prozzie – Turning left the whole way there.
C-milk – Turning left the whole way there. C-milk – You’re gonna get tired. Prozzie – Yeah I know. C-milk – I’ll take over at some point.
Prozzie – Yeah. C-milk – Dude, I have to piss like a racehorse. Prozzie – Well we’re stopping at this little pitstop here. You’re gonna drive after you piss. Prozzie – We’re gonna get some gas. C-milk – Most importantly we’re gonna find out if the car starts again. Prozzie – Right. This will be the first time we turned off the car since we started.
C-milk – Yeah. C-milk – Alright so one thing we’re concerned about is this battery light has been on. C-milk – The battery light being on may mean after we get gas and turn off the car it won’t turn back on again. So we might be living at this petrol station. C-milk – I honestly don’t think the car is going to start. C-milk – Cause it was blinking and it never started in the past.
Prozzie – I think it will. C-milk – The guy that tried to hot-wire and steal your vehicle probably didn’t do an amazing job. Prozzie – Well I hope he did because I paid him nothing. Prozzie – Also I’m really worried about those wires, you refused to let me fix them. C-milk – I don’t want to touch them, dude. Prozzie – Well you’ve already ripped one out with your giant *expletive* foot.
C-milk – No I didn’t. Prozzie – We’re gonna have to get out and fix that later. Prozzie – This thing’s got a giant tank in it. C-milk – Have to keep pulling out these RMBs. C-milk – It’s still going, dude. Prozzie – So I was right, it’s a 50 liter tank. C-milk – That’s insane! C-milk – Still going 45. C-milk – Jesus Christ, we’re gonna run out of money! C-milk – What the hell? C-milk – My Lexus had a 40 liter tank. Prozzie – The whole time. C-milk – You ready? C-milk – You ready?
Prozzie – Yeah. Prozzie – Come on baby! C-milk – Yes!
Prozzie – Just like that! C-milk – Thank The Lord Almighty! C-milk – Guys we are lucky little beaves aren’t we? Prozzie – Is that a saying? C-milk – No, I just made it up. Prozzie – I can’t believe it started. I mean I can I had faith. C-milk – I like that you can feel the entire engine shift to the weight of the car. C-milk – It literally bucks the whole car. C-milk – We’re making really good progress. C-milk – I found that the top speed of this car thus far is about 130 km/h. C-milk – Anyway I’m in the fast lane doing 120 now. This car we theorized C-milk – Prozzie said “140” I said “130”. C-milk – I wasn’t able to get it over 130. C-milk – I feel like we could die if we try to go too fast. C-milk – What would a road trip be without maxing out the speed of your car? C-milk – What would it be? Prozzie – Fuck no! Prozzie – We’re having a bit of an issue where the car is dying.
C-milk – it’s stopping, dude. C-milk – We were literally just – Prozzie – Are you sure it’s dying?
C-milk – Yeah, I swear to God. C-milk – Oh no, it’s electric, dude! C-milk – When I turn the lights on it died and the gas gauge is on empty. C-milk – It’s really hot down near my shoes. C-milk – Oh shit it died again! It’s every time I touch the electrics, dude. C-milk – Watch you ready? C-milk – I’m gonna test. C-milk – Yup! Dude! C-milk – Every time we use the breaks it’s gonna kill the car. Prozzie – We know it’s electrical.
C-milk – She’s dying, dude. Prozzie – We can’t get it to a mechanic. We have to get there. Prozzie – We have to make it to Renhua or Shaoguan. C-milk – We already passed Shaoguan. Prozzie – Shit. Prozzie – It’s not like the west where you can call a private tow company or something. C-milk – Oh shit! C-milk – Dude, we’re dying! Prozzie – The other issue –
C-milk – Stay alive! Prozzie – God damn this thing! Come on! C-milk – No we’re not okay, dude, it’s dying. Prozzie – Keep it up to 3000.
C-milk – I can’t I’m floored! C-milk – This is dangerous we’re on a corner. Prozzie – All my stuff breaks in all my videos. C-milk – Let’s get the *expletive* out of the car. C-milk – So here we are and we almost made it. C-milk – We literally almost made it. We were so close. C-milk – Yet we didn’t make it. C-milk – This car, I guess we pushed her a little too hard. C-milk – Why do you have stretch mark cream in here? C-milk – There’s a plant growing in your car! C-milk – What are we going to do? Prozzie – I’m going to pee. Why don’t you open the hood? C-milk – I will have a look at it. C-milk – Well, dude, in a way we kind of knew this was going to happen, didn’t we? Prozzie – I don’t know what to say, it’s kind of nerve wrecking.
C-milk – I know. C-milk – It’s so shit, so shit and it’s pretty freaking cold out. C-milk – Worst case Ontario (scenario) the cops showed up C-milk – They said that we’re not allowed to do the car so we’re screwed. C-milk – We got to get the keys out, dude. Prozzie – They seem to be awfully – C-milk – They obviously want the money. C-milk – Yeah, Lord Almighty, we are in deep shit otherwise.
Prozzie – Yeah.

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100 thoughts on “We Bought an $800 Car and Took a Road Trip in CHINA!


  2. Guys, whats with the ending. I've watched three videos on your channels and can't find the actual police one… kinda frustrating

  3. Help Kickstart my new TV show – Conquering Northern China! Be a Laowinner and join us!

  4. I had a honda that did the exact same thing on a road trip. Was a bad connection in the ignition, little bumps in the road would disconnect the already bad momentary connection and cause the car the shut off while the guages went nuts.

  5. So happy I found your channel! I am learning so much about China and it has changed my views so much. Plus Prozzie is uber cute.

  6. HA!!! 😀 The care was unregistered??? HA !:D That was actually the first thing which came up to my mind as I watched the video of " How we made to buy a car in china" 🙂 How can you possible buy a car and do not get it registered on your name ( plus insurance)? 😀
    Now please do not tell me you are riding a non-registered motorcycle for years, too 😛

  7. Man I always wanted one of those old santana when I go back to china. I said to my dad in china that I want one and he told me I was an idiot 🙁 so you guys still got the car? or did it get confiscated?

  8. C-milk, "Were lucky little beavers", Prozzie, "Is that even a saying?" C-Milk, "No, I just made that up". Too funny.

  9. You guys are freaking crazy. You got on a highway with a broken car abandoned for months without any repairing.

  10. 'Worst case Ontario', you have to be a fan of TPB with saying that. Much love on the videos man, keep up the awesome!

  11. you can fix this car with few money in china and any repair shop in china can fix it.
    Every part of Santana can be found in china's repair shop

  12. i will be travelling around yunnan for a few weeks as of next week. I am lookin at renting a scooter whilst travelling obviously i dont have a chinese driving liscence. just wondering how strict it is and what is likely to happen if i am caught?

  13. Guys that don't know anything about working on cars, shouldn't own junky cars that will most likely have mechanical and electrical problems. lol

  14. It's amazing how much the Dec 24 1986 Lao looks like another celebrity named Brandon Novak who was born Dec 10 1978

  15. One would think that somebody who owned a motorcycle repair shop would be fairly adept at repairing gasoline engines and their associated systems. After all what is a motorcycle but a car with two wheels. That having been said, Why?

  16. Prozzie does stuff like drive an illegal car around on your channel then he whines about his awful luck when things go wrong on his. This guy needs to prioritize and get it together. If all you do is complain about how in debt you are and how awful your luck is then driving an unregistered car for a little adventure is the last thing you need to be doing. Getting caught doing that here will cost you several thousand dollars plus revoked driving privileges. I hope he makes better decisions in Taiwan

  17. VW Santana was actually a big hit on Brazil.
    That model is just like the 2000 released here in the late 80's. Too bad VW didn't sticked with it, it served a important role as the first executive car here and was in local production for about 25 years.
    Nice video, that was very amusing to watch. I can only dream on having such a trip in such a legendary car one day

  18. I remember doing crazy and irresponsible road trips in sketchy vehicles but in my defense I was young and stupid. You guys are old and stupid.

  19. Dudes, it's a V double U. That battery light means your alternator isn't working properly (probably the voltage regulator – been there, done that) Classic road trip – let's get some drinks and head out!

  20. Santana, my father used to have one of this back in 97. It really was "Volkswagen", people's cars back in the day.

  21. i had the same thing with my steering wheel, it turns out the inside tread on both front tyres were bald, i really thought it would be tracking but ye check your treads!

  22. this is one of the funniest video that i have every saw, but its alright, in china cops arent that bad they are just normal people.

  23. Battery light in QUANTUM meant low fuel…or bad battery. Big gas tank because of fuel shortage in 80s…range was a marketing tool

  24. The battery blinking is the alternator, meaning that it's failed, or most likely your accesory belt broke so the battery is not charging and at the same time the power steering pump and the watter pump isn't working meaning that the engine is over heating.

  25. I can totally travel china in a double decker skooly with a truck towed so i can tow the bus if need be. The drive semis. Same concept

  26. 9:00 Your IS200 had a 40 liter tank? I really doubt that. My 2000 Corolla 1.6 has a 50 liter tank. It rarely goes down when the engine size/power goes up.
    10:49 Modern eco mode, haha.

  27. I have seen the Black Santana car when I was a kid in China. Do you still see anyone driving that in major cities today?

  28. I bought a ('99) corolla for $800. It has done quite well for 10 months. 2 tires, oil change, tune up…not much more. You shouldn't have bought a CHINESE car. Duh

  29. When the engine starts to move the car and it 'bucks' you have a torn engine mount. besides fire, and no brakes? good luck…

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