Hey fellas, I’m here with the new game Skyrim, it just came out. This game is getting great reviews. I’ve heard some great things about this from uh… from… Joe Youtube errr… it’s a first person shooter- I feel like everybody plays IKEA-Born so just gonna make a Sonic to keep it fresh. “You started this war.” Yeah! “Plunged Skyrim into chaos.” Yeah! “And now the Empire is going to put you down,” YEAH! “and restore the peace.” Put him down! [TRAIN TOOTING] What? “What was that?” “It’s nothing.” Put him down! No no no! Don’t put me down! Is this for Sonic Boom? You’re supposed to put the other guy down! You guys have to-
[TRAIN TOOTING] [GASP] Could it be? But the legends… I thought those stories were just kid’s tales.
[Thomas The Tank Engine theme song plays] OH my god. It’s really him. Ladies and gentlemen SKYRIM is here to save me! *FUS RO DAH!* Oh my god! Thank you Skyrim! I love you, man. It’s raining trains! It’s raining trains! Yeah, whoop his ass Skyrim! Yeah! Oh yeah pick him up! Pick him up with your WHEELS!
[WILHELM SCREAM] YEAHHH! What have I done? you can’t hit what you can’t see Rudolf, ya Red Nosed piece of shit! Get the fuck- I summon my trusty steed, Tommy Wiseau
[Pokémon anthem plays] Ride, Tommy. Skyrim awaits! And there’s adventure around every corner! “Hi doggy.” WHAT? Why am I a dog now? Oh god… Is that what I think it is? “YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA!” Tommy no! You can’t fight it! He’s too big! Do the Pulp Fiction! Do the intro! “I work for Belethor, at the General Goods store.” I don’t remember asking you a GODDAMNED THING. FUS RO DIE! [“Dragonborn” plays] [POLICE SIERNS ] Uh oh… “What say you in your defense?” It wasn’t me “Oh, forgive me Thane.” “I didn’t realise it was you.” “We’ll look the other way this time.” “FUS RO-” Dang. “I need to ask you to stop…” “That… shouting is making people nervous.” I won’t do it again, man. I won’t do it again. But watch out. I’m gon’ do it again haha! I got some good materials here. I think I’ll go ahead and make the Portal Gun. “Not too shabby…” “Apprentice level work.” “But solid.” This shit is about to get crazy. Stand and fight archers! Shoot those trains outta the sky! Oh god! Surprise werewolf attack! I shoulda expected this! There’s only one way to defeat werewolves. Get in there bear! Fight them! [MIDI version of Misirlou plays] God, you got fucked up. Oh yeah! Get in there bear! Oh yeah. Shoot those trains down- This is really turning out to be a really long battle. We gotta start wrapping this one up before my wife gets home, guys. Oh god… Now it’s a party. Who brought the macho mans in here? Now it’s gettin’ CRAZY. [TRAINS TOOTING, MACHO MEN GOING “OHH YEAH” AND GENERAL AUIDIBLE CHAOS] Where am I? Am I still exist? Am I still- There’s a hundreds- There’s hundreds of bears, with autotune. Who am I controlling? That’s it you mother fuckers! Now you gotta fight ME! [BATTLE CRY] Woah. Is that a crab with a top hat and a monocle? That’s where I draw the line. C’mon Master Chief. Let’s get the FUCK OUTTA HERE [Thomas the Tank Engine theme song plays]