The Time Zack Morris Got His Friend Struck By Lightning Then Exploited Him

♪ Zack Morris is Trash. ♪ (bell rings) – [Narrator] Zack Morris is dreading Mr. Testaverde’s midterm, a teacher who strikes fear in students when you yell
his name for no reason. Jessie is studying with books. Zack mocks her literacy, then gambles his sunglasses on a water balloon quick draw, Zack’s lost three days in a row, make that four, because Slater set his dopey ass up. – I couldn’t throw at
a friend you pinhead. – [Narrator] Yeah, sounds
like you really like the guy. But Zack can’t stop the bleeding and rolls the hallway dice again. He bets his HAM radio when Slater says Kelly will be next down the stairs. Zack stalks Kelly and
has a troubling constant knowledge of her location, she’s in volleyball practice, except she isn’t because Slater
got the drop on him again. Zack’s displeased, he’s being fleeced like the simpleton he is. Zack signs off one last time
for all his fans out there in radio land, fucking no one, and sends Screech to the
roof to do the dangerous work of disconnecting the antenna, which causes Screech to be struck by lightning. As he stumbles around dazed, Zack does nothing to assist or call for an ambulance, he lets him walk home alone, right after Screech predicts a phone call before it rings. Then Screech yanks Zack out
of the way of an accident that could have saved the
world a lot of misery. Ever since the lightning, Screech sees glimpses of the future. Zack realizes Screech’s
high voltage brain trauma gave him a gift, a gift he could share with the world and change it forever. So naturally Zack swears him to secrecy to hog it for himself, then gloats about his scheme not realizing Screech would see that, idiot. Mr. Testaverde’s reviewing, everyone’s feverishly trying to keep up, Zack goes out of his way to show he doesn’t care, it’s really just sad. Slater wants his radio,
but Zack’s feeling lucky. He wants to go double or nothing for Slater’s jacket on
another thrilling round of predict the stairs walker. Slater makes a solid
guess, but Zack squanders Screech’s super-human
powers to see a trombone, a confused and cold Slater
is pushed to self-harm. Zack’s calling the track to see how soon he could get Screech betting on ponies, then clumsily spills while
passing Screech his phone, electrocuting him for the second
time in less than 24 hours. He ignores his pain and squeezes him for the three mid-term questions. Zack continues his gambling marathon. He interrupts Slater helping Kelly study to propose whoever
scores higher on the test will be the loser’s slave for a week. Slater gladly accepts as
Zack is a known dumb ass. Kelly questions Zack’s
sudden academic confidence. He uses hacky mind tricks to make her beg to come over for a study session that is most assuredly a sex trap. Yup, the only thing Zack’s studying is Kelly for vulnerabilities. Kelly can’t get any work done in this dimly lit room with corny music. Zack helps her relax with
some uninvited touching, then tells her to close her
eyes so he can assault her, which she narrowly avoids. Zack knows a great way to learn, let’s dance and throw books. Zack tells her to relax again, as he mashes half a
chub against her jorts. Jessie interrupts, thank God. Kelly invited the gang to study, that thing they’re not doing. Zack wants them to die. – Where’s the lightening
when you really need it? – [Narrator] Jessie is
rightfully skeptical Zack knows anything, Zack says he can see the answers, narcissistically deluding himself into taking credit for Screech’s talent. He says they only need to
study for three questions. Now be gone, so he can jack off while this room still smells like Kelly. Screech’s visions are mixed
up since that last zap. He sees all kinds of test questions. He’s losing his damn mind. – Did you know that
Lincoln freed the Japanese? – [Narrator] Zack
disregards Screech’s need to be in the emergency room yesterday and commands him to see the future. Nope, Zack is boned, until he gets a great idea. Zack runs every bathroom faucet, wasting precious Southern California water to impersonate Belding
on a call to Testaverde. He reports a massive campus flood, midterms are postponed. Then impersonates Testaverde,
calling in sick to Belding and feeds him the only
three questions he studied, so Belding can deliver the midterm. Zack’s plan falls apart
at the starting line, when Testaverde arrives to help with the crisis Zack manufactured. The deduced deceit, but who would commit double phone fraud before 8:00 a.m.? The same moron who didn’t turn his ringer off before class. Here come the real questions, Zack blew it. When grades get posted,
he walks past Kelly like nothing happened. His peers are in emotional shambles in the wake of his latest failure. Screech got an A. He did this crazy thing called study. Zack rebukes his work ethic. Now Zack is Slater’s slave and pranks him by ordering a spicy pizza
he’ll have to pay for, plus another one that isn’t spicy after Slater takes one bite, wow, really showed him. Let’s review, Zack Morris
compulsively gambled away his radio on a losing streak, then made Screech disconnect it, which got him struck by lightning, then did nothing to help. When he learned Screech
got a miraculous gift, Zack horded it to see a trombone, then electrocuted Screech again and lost it. Then made unwanted sexual advances under the guise of having test answers, answers he did not have. And instead of alerting his friends, committed half-brain trickery, that had no chance of
working for even an hour and still didn’t learn the
value of doing any work ever. Zach Morris is trash. ♪ Zack Morris is Trash ♪ (bell rings)

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