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Honest Trailers – Cars & Cars 2

Honest Trailers – Cars & Cars 2


From the studio who brought you Ratatouille, WALL-E, and Up, comes the movie that paid for all of them: Toys I- I mean, CARS. Cruise into Radiator Springs, a town full of fun, friends, and adventure! Just don’t ask where all the humans are, because we’re either extinct, murdered by our cars, Or we merge with them to become some kind of unholy man-car hybrid! Hmmm…. Probably shouldn’t think too hard about that. Moving on! Pixar built an empire out of beautiful, emotionally real tightly-plotted masterpieces! And Cars is almost all of those things! As this above average kids movie never reaches Pixar’s highest highs, but it’s better than people give it credit it for. I mean, you know, it’s not flawless… Lightning is… kind of a jerk. Sally: It looks awful! Lightning: Now it matches the rest of the town. The catchphrases are kind of annoying. Lightning: KACHOW!! Chick: KACHIGA!!! KACHIGA!!!! Huh. I guess we really don’t have that much to say about the first Cars movie. Can we just do Cars 2 instead? *EPIC REWIND IN PROGRESS* That’s better. From the studio who brought you Ratatouille, WALL-E, and Up… comes a tedious cash-grab dumpster fire that’s Pixar’s worst movie by a long shot. Cars 2! You liked Cars well enough… but since your kids loved it, Pixar’s going full Minions! And making a sequel about the side character they can relate to. Because kids are dumb. This is your fault, parents. Why didn’t you just buy them more Ratatouille merchandise? Oh. You remember Lightning, Sally, and the rest of the gang at Radiator Springs. Or forget about them, because it’s Mater’s time to shine! Mater: That’s funny, right there. Spin way too long with this annoying southern truck, played by non-southern comedian Daniel Whitney, who pretends to be a dumb hick named Larry the Cable Guy, who pretends to be this buck-toothed truck version of Larry the Cable Guy. It’s like a turducken of fake idiots pretending to be even bigger faker idiots! After Lightning’s simple story of learning to slow down and appreciate life, Get ready for a confusing plot, about a car who creates an alternative fuel, Just to make alternative fuel look bad. But no amount of logic will stop Mater from visiting as many playsets and accessories as possible! No matter how many forced misunderstandings it takes to get there! Mater: You know I’m just a tow truck, right? Finn: Right… and I’m just in the import-export business. He just told you he’s not a spy. Mater: My line of work is towing and salvage. Finn: Right, and Ms. Shiftwell’s, is designing iPhone apps. Really? Again?? Mater: Agent? You mean like an insurance agent? Like, like a good neighbourrr, Mater is thereeee! See? He’s not a spy! Mater: I’m not a spy!! I’ve been trying to tell you that the whole time! Why is no one listening to him?? So buckle up for a movie responsible for some of Pixar’s firsts, Like… Their first sequel to stretch a thin comic relief character into a whole movie, First time they weren’t nominated for a Best Animated Feature Oscar, And the first time they went full blown ‘Rotten’ on Rotten Tomatoes. Or as this moron would say: Mater: Rotten Tomaters! I mean, do they even have tomatoes in Cars’ world? I guess they must eat food, ’cause, they have those giant tongues. But it seems all they do is just drink gas. Unless gas is their blood? Except Mater mistakes wasabi for ice cream, which means they HAVE ice cream. But, the cows in this universe are tractors, So, do they like, milk the tractors? Does your car model determine your species? Your class? Your ethnicity? Like do cop cars have to be cops? Or can a race car be a janitor if he wants to? And how are cars born? This car has a mom! Francesco: My mamma, is right here. What’s the difference between boy and girl cars? Do cars have sex? And how?? Are headlights BEWBS? Girl Cars: KACHOW!! And how do cars die? If they keep replacing their parts are they like, immortal? There’s a car Pope, so, is there, Cartholicism? What kind of car was Jesus? Sarge is a veteran, which means there were car wars. Was he in Car-nam? What kind of car was Hitler?? Is the engine the brain or the heart? What’s the difference between a doctor and a mechanic? If they open their door, do all their guts fall out? Why do cars even HAVE door handles in a world with no humans driving them?? Except this car has eyes in her headlights, and a steering wheel and seats, oh geez, they DID kill us all!! They just evolved, and covered it all up! DAMN YOU DIRTY BRAKES, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! Oh wow, we’re really sidetracked there. Where was I again? Oh yeah! Starring: Cars! Money! Announcer: A hundred and ninety-nine laps and baby, it all comes down to this! Man, NASCAR is really boring.

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100 thoughts on “Honest Trailers – Cars & Cars 2

  1. I dunno, this is too harsh,
    I mean, it's not as good as other Pixar movies, but it's
    nothing atrocious. It's an okay, average, decent movie, at least, but that's just my opinion.

  2. Here were the main issues I felt Cars had or were up against. When the 1st one came out, Pixar were coming off of two of their more popular and iconic releases that left you biting your fingernails and had likable characters. Marlin, Nemo, Nigel, Crush, Dory, the Parr family, Edna, Frozone, hell even Mirage was more likable than anyone in Cars, ESPECIALLY Lightning who was an utter douche in my opinion. The sequels weren't anywhere near as good as Toy Story's and I2 and I didn't feel Cars warranted them. For those that think I'm being harsh, here is a disclaimer, Cars WAS one of my favorite movies, growing up, still is, but it doesn't hold a candle to it's two Pixar predecessors.

  3. In the first cars He was inside the truck that was driving him. Was he inside his stomach or something else? He did get out by going out the back… Why did the truck need to sleep? if the ramp is part of the truck wouldn't he feel himself being dragged across the road? Why are there so many cars gathered to watch the races, those would be like people running track for us. Why was there a third movie made after the second one flopped so bad?

  4. Cars 2 is the only Pixar movie my kids and I have ever walked out of, right after the charger is executed on the dyno.

  5. I feel a great disturbance on the force… cause there is no Avengers Endgame honest trailer yet!!!!!!!

  6. Female car: can I see my baby?!?
    Car doctor: sure, he is a healthy baby fiat
    Female car: …fix it again tony…

  7. I learned from cinema sins that Planes was a sequel to cars, but wasn't made by pixar.

    Cars 1, 2, and 3 are all terrible imo. I'm 27, and my youngest sibling is 17 years younger than me.
    Toy story was the first film I saw in theaters. A bug's life was awesome (I like Antz too) ((fucking make a sequel to a bug's life!! Toy story 4 NEVER should've happened. 3 had the perfect ending to the franchise. Without saying spoilers, toy story 4's ending was bad imo. Bugs life 2 should've been a priority.)

    ANYWAY
    I saw toy story 1 and 2 in theaters, and I absolutely LOVED Buzz Lightyear. I even liked his cartoon, Buzz Lightyear of Star command. I had toys, mugs, pajamas, etc.

    My sister, who is now 18, had monster's ?inc and the incredibles as her absolute favorites. Stuffed animals, pillows, and SOOO many jackjack and Boo toys

    My youngest sister, who will be 16 in a few days. Her main pixar film was finding nemo and wall-e. She too had the toys, themed plates, pillow covers, etc.

    My baby brother, who had a huge selection of pixar films to choose from picked cars 1 and 2.
    He too had the toys, mugs, pillow slips, etc.

    I feel the cars films are the absolute worst pixar films.
    My poor brother..

    While my sisters and I had GREAT films, awesome merchandise, and other crap I can't think of to fill the spot of idea number 3, he had the most grating ones. I HATED mater, the awful cover of "life is a highway", and all the questions I thought of about the world.

    Tbh, I believe the best pixar films are behind us. Though the fantasy world one has my interest, the trippy berry part of the good dinosaur caught me off guard and made me laugh, and up was designed to make people's hearts grow like the grinch, only to shatter it all in the first few minutes.

    My point to my ramblings?

    Toy story 4's ending ruined 3's.
    A bug's life 2 should be a thing.

    A buzz Lightyear of Star command pixar film (set in space with 3d animation, even tho the show's 2d animation was good) would be GREAT. It could tie in to wall e.

  8. Humans decided to make car like human with choices.They decided to kill humansthere was a war. Humans made Planes to help the planes betrayed them.
    BTW: i am still waiting Ships

  9. Cars 2 is all about that stupid tow truck? It looks like I made the correct choice to skip it and not watch it at all.

  10. Cars 2 is basically a
    Mator movie except pixar said fuck it, we need the money, we need the promo, so they made it Cars 2

  11. Honest Trailers Cars 3, it’s actually a pretty good movie, a little better than the first Cars but nobody saw it because Cars 2 ruined this franchise

  12. Seriously though, where’s the eyes on convertibles? You legit see no convertibles the entirety of any of the three movies. Just like, did they wipe out convertibles? Are all the cars actually the car versions of the perfect aryan?

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