[Skeletons – Stevie Wonder]
*Dunkey scatting along* Cause your skeleton’s in the dundaay! Buh buh buh buh– Only with San Andreas Barbers can you get a longer haircut than you had when you came in. Denise, give me a… nice afro. Yeah… …that’s not an afro. I told Denise to give me a fucking afro and I come out with THIS. And you guys ask me “why”? Why I must kill… (laughing) He just hit his own guy. *whistling* (laughing) I didn’t know they had my jam! [El Sonidito – Hechizeros Band] *PLAYS VIDEO GAMES MUSICALLY* Hey, baybae, I’d buy that for a dollar! Hey, come on. Give Papa Trevor a nice dance, ah? Huh, baby? FUCK YOU THEN! YOU STUCK UP BITCH! For what? For what? No tell me, for what? For what? Gonna enter the Iron Man Triatholon competition here, let’s see if I can– (Dunkey as News Reporter) In other news, for what? For what, bitch? (Normal) Just got to hold on to first place, I can get that gold medal and sell it at the pawn shop for 20 bucks– I almost got it! Come on Trevor, I got no stamina left! Come on, lets finish this ra- You..no…no! No! (laughing but crying on the inside) [Dunkey barely containing his anger] At the end of the day, it was a great race, ah, everybody- -everybody involved did a great job you know I think. Ah, and you were the better man *shoots*
so you did deserve the win. At the end of the day you were the better man. Look at my girlfriend guys, I’m on a romantic date. with this big booty gir- Oooh! Uh-oh, honey! I win! (Trevor) Hah-tee-ha cock sucker! (Dunkey) I don’t know about that one Trevor, this is the first date… I dunno if you should start calling her a cocksucker quite yet. (Trevor) Just for a moment, pretend that winning this game will make your life better. (Dunkey) [laughs] Yeah, ya dumb bitch! [laughs] Ah, ya lose! (Trevor) You didn’t have the body language of a winner. (Dunkey) Ya didnt- ya didn’t have the body language That was- –I think that was a successful day. I mean, I had a lot of fun, and I beat her- I beat her ass in tennis. Ay, baby! Take some money, huh? Take some cash, I’ll see you next week! Baby? Where you going? (NPC) You’re that guy from Midget Fuckers 22! (Dunkey) Baby, no, come back! Come back, baby! Baby, I love you! Pick up this p- *explodes* Oh, yeah, that’s the exploder money, I forgot abou- [Can you] -believe that shit? This guy just stole that guy’s motorcycle! Fuckin’… …BASTARD! “I shoulda did a drive by on you and your crew” “I shoulda did a drive by on you and your crew”
(Dunkey) Yeah! “I shoulda did a drive by on you and your crew”
Shoulda did a drive by on you and your crew! Now they’re looking at me like Scooby-Doo! Here ya go! Here ya go, baybay!
(Franklin) My good deed for the day. I just think it’s-
(NPC) You should keep some of that for yourself. -Nah, I just think it’s ridiculous when people just steal stuff that’s not theirs. That’s stupid. Get the hell out of this car, you old bitch! [I Don’t Care Anymore – Phil Collins starts playing] Ooh, Guns N’ Roses, I love these guys! *Dunkey singing along to the song* *Dunkey singing along to the song while wreaking havoc on pedestrians* *GASP* Oh, boy! TACOOOOS! *Dunkey quietly singing the 007 Theme* DUH-NUH DUH-NAH BO-DA-NAAAH *Dunkey keeps singing the 007 Theme* *Dunkey keeps singing the 007 Theme*
(NPC) Oh my gosh, get me out of here! (Dunkey) Your wish is my command, bitch! *uses ejector seat* *Keeps singing the 007 Theme* *Still going* *Still going, but starts laughing* [You] –can see the entire Liberty City from up on this blimp! Aw, there’s Niko’s… Aw, there’s Niko’s… shop(?) Helicopter! (laughing) Come back! Baby, come back! Come back! I can do it, I can save the helicopter! If I just jump down and I climb in in time, I can do it! I’ll have to deploy the parachute to ensure a safe landing, though. If I just land on top of that… *SMACK* (muffled) Hey guys, it’s me! (Still muffled) What’s up? I’m Dunston Checks– (NPC) The fuck is with you, man? (Dunkey) I’m Dunston Checks In! (NPC 2) Piece of shit! (Dunkey) No! What, you guys don’t like my monkey head? What? (normal) It’s a nice monk- *gets hit* Auugh! It’s a monkey! I’m a… Auugh! We’re playing Monkey in the Middle, right guys? Get it? *chuckles* Okay guys… Fuck you now. *chuckles* Have some of my money! You little BITCHES! HUH?! YOU WANNA FUCK WITH ME?! I’M HARDER THAN DONKEY KONG COUNTRY, BITCH! I GET CRANKY, YA KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?! GET OUTTA– (quieter) They will never find me in my monkey hut. Uh-oh… For what?! For what?! Naw, for what?! Fuck you! Watch out for my monkey blast! *mimics explosion* Ooogh… Buuuh… I ain’t afraid to drop stacks on this beast! I ain’t afraid to drop STACKS on this beast! I ain’t afraid to drop STACKS on this BEAST! Put some… TURBO on that– Put some turbo wheels on there! I got… JET JET ROOF(?) And I got… a horse(?) I got horsepower… And… Aw, I just gotta get this car back to my garage before it gets ruined! Now, you can see that the turbo’s activated on the left wheel– *explodes* That’s not the turbo… *chuckling* OOGA-BOOGA! *chuckles* Uh-oh… *Dunkey singing along to O-o-h Child by Five Stairsteps* *Dunkey singing along and starts banging his desk* *Keeps singing along* *bangs on his desk again* *BANG* *BANG BANG* *BANG BANG BANG* *You get the idea.* *bangs on his desk again* SOOOOMEDAY WHEN THE SEX WAS BAD *crashes* *starts singing to Higher Love by Steve Winwood* ♪ I was born inside a chicken wing ♪ ♪ And then I flew… ♪ ♪ straight into Shrek’s canyon ♪ Yea! ♪ GIVE ME A ♪ ♪ HAIYALUUH ♪ *scats to the song* ♪ GIVE ME A ♪ ♪ HAIYALUUH ♪ ♪ GIVE ME A ♪ ♪ HAIYALUUH ♪ with the– ♪ HAIYALOOGH ♪ ♪ with the ♪ ♪ HAIYALUUOOH ♪ Aww…