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A Wedding To Die For – Escape the Night S4 (Ep 4)

A Wedding To Die For – Escape the Night S4 (Ep 4)

COLLECTOR:Previously on
Escape The Night…The evil of the museum
has begun to infect
some of the heroes.
Destorm is a bad
influence on you. He’s the devil! COLLECTOR:Joey and Colleen
start to heal
their broken friendship.
Maybe now I can trust Joey. “The two with the fewest coins
will be forced into
the final challenge.” -That’s you and me.
-COLLEEN: It is. COLLECTOR:And another life
is exchanged for a key.
You’re evil, man! Survival of the fittest. [SCREAMS] It’s time to ruffle
some feathers. Oh. [CHUCKLES]
You’re not very focused
on the game, Your Highness. Mmm. Checkmate. EMPEROR: That was dumb. I think it’s time
for you to go, Mother. You’re never going to
find a wife this way. -[DOOR CLOSES]
-A proper woman will always– Do I really need one?
They’re so boring. The Dragon Rebellion
are at the gates,
ready to take your head. They’re demanding an heir
and that requires a queen. Well, if they’re gonna
be like that… [SIGHING] I’ll think about it. [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] COLLEEN: Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
All the doors are opening. -[WIND BLOWING]
-JOEY: Whoa! Whoa. Okay. Okay. Okay, Mulan’s here. Whoa. [ROARING] ROSANNA:I recognize
these dragons,
and I’m thinking,
“This exhibit is ancient China.” What the hell is going on? [ROARING] TIMOTHY: Who is that? [ROARING] This dragon is gorgeous-and I need to get
a closer look.

-MORTIMER: Whoa! -ROSANNA: Mortimer…
-What the hell? -ROSANNA: Mortimer,
what’s going on?
-I don’t know. -Oh, my God.
-[LOUD ROARING] Where did Mortimer go? Wait, all the boys are gone. Poof. All the guys are gone. -I kinda like this.
-I agree. This is much better. COLLEEN:To be honest,
none of those guys
were really helping us anyway,
and I’m kinda
liking this situation. Oh, my gosh. We could
start an all girls’ band. Okay, clues. Clues, clues. Here’s a note. “Start the Emperor’s
wedding festival with a bang.” Is this a Chinese firecracker? -Yes. I’m terrified
of these things.
-[GASPS] This is a firework? There’s one for each of us. -[GASPS]
-I hate these things. I don’t like popping things,
I don’t like balloons. I don’t like poppers, so thisis actually my worst nightmare.We also need the combination
to this lock. GABBIE: One, two, three,
four letters. Let’s just
shoot it off somewhere. TANA:Girl, watch what
you’re doing with that thing.
My weave’s gonna catch on fire. I think you’re supposed
to crack it in half. -Okay, do it.
-Like on your knee. -Like in the movies.
-Okay, well, I don’t wanna. I don’t have time
for bells and whistles and fireworks and the pretties. I don’t have time for that.
We need to get out of here. -One, two, three!
-No, I’m not doing it. -On your knee.
-TANA: I’m literally
not doing it. -COLLEEN: Whoa. Good for you.
-[GROANS LOUDLY] So I just take one,
and I’m like, screw it, and I shake it out. Shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake. Oh, so it’s like
a confetti bomb. COLLEEN: I still don’t
understand how to do this. ROSANNA: This is a T,
this is a T. -[FIRECRACKER POPS]
Where’s your letter?
Where’s your letters? ROSANNA: We have a T,
an A, an M… -COLLEEN: Yeah,
I think that’s an E.
-GABBIE: Okay. We find four different
letters all throughout
each confetti cannon and we start
jumbling them together to figure out what the code
might be to get this thing open. Is there anything that has
to do with a wedding? Like team? -Oh, “team”.
-Oh, a team! Hello! GABBIE: Wait. COLLEEN: No?
GABBIE: That’s not…
That’s not it. Okay. So, there’s not 26 letters
on each wheel. -COLLEEN: Really?
-GABBIE: Because there’s
no “M” on this wheel. -Or “mate.”
-All right. Mate, that’s sexy. ‘Cause it’s a wedding. Was it “Mate”?
“Mate” opened it up? -Ooh, roses! Kinky.
-Okay. “Calling all maidens
in the Middle Kingdom. “The Emperor is
in need of an heir
and requires a wife. “Report to the palace
to be tested for beauty,
etiquette and conversation.” -[gasps]
-I’m so sorry, sweetie. I’m gonna fail
the etiquette part. “The one who passes will be wed. “Ignore this invitation
and face the consequences.” I thought we were
just being invited
to the Emperor’s wedding but it turns out one of us
is gonna be the bride. -Ew, sexist.
-Beauty, etiquette, -conversation.
-Garbage. So we’re like suitors? Isn’t it obvious? Wed him, kill him,
and take the kingdom. -That’s not a bad idea.
-COLLEEN: That’s better. Wait, there’s a drawing
of a door on the other side. Have we seen this door? -ALEX: Guys, are you here?
-Yeah. Next thing I know,
I’m on the ground
with a bag over my head and I’m chained to a damn box. Whoa. What is this? [MAN SPEAKING MANDARIN] Oh, look at that. -Whoa.
-Who’s there? Hold on. They’re the Emperor’s
foreign mercenaries. I know they’re after
the Dragon Spear. We need to kill them… or else
they’ll stop the rebellion. MORTIMER: Excuse me,
can’t help but overhear. All right, that’s, uh, a sword
to my throat. I was just… I was just
gonna say before
you start killing us maybe we can tell you
about the secrets
that we know. -Right, guys? Secrets.
-ALL: Yeah! I got Victoria’s Secret
if you need it. I’m not
going down like this. What secrets exactly? We’ll let you know
if you let us go. I still pee my bed. That’s useless information. JOEY: Oh, the spear!
We know all about the spear! MALE GUARD: What do you know
about the spear? JOEY:I know nothing, but…I sure can act like I do. It’s a spear that’s long
and it’s powerful. Stop wasting our time! Okay. If we have the spear,
then people will follow us. Well, it looks like you guys
are in a bit of a jam. Very well. Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa. You have one hour
to bring us the spear. -Uh, okay.
-And prove to us you truly are rebels. Otherwise, we’ll find you
and we’ll kill you. You know, I’m a rebel.
I might be able
to help out a little bit. If they let us live. -[STAMMERS] You gonna let us
out of the chains?
-Yeah, yeah. You’re resourceful, right?
Figure it out. -Oh, no.
-“Figure it out?” BRETMAN:Really?
You’re not gonna help us
but we’re helping you?
How does that add up? Guys, look for a key
of anything that
you can reach. What can you guys reach?
I got some balls here,
some metal balls. I can roll them to you
if they’re necessary. -Okay?
-Right here!
There’s a key up here. -ALEX: Oh, right there.
-JOEY: I cannot
reach that at all. I can knock it down. Uh, s that gonna hit me? Oh, okay, I’ll roll it to you. -I’ll give it to you guys
and you do it.
-JOEY: Why don’t you… Roll it to Bretman,
Bretman roll it to Destorm,
Destorm roll it to me. ALEX: Okay, here. Ready? [SHRIEKS] [SHRIEKS] Heavy! I said “Roll the giant
heavy-ass ball.” Don’t throw it at me. All right. BRETMAN: Keep rolling it.
Do you really think he’s
gonna get it on his first try? DESTORM: He’s not gonna
get it on the first try.
-Hey! Can you reach it? -I got it.
-JOEY: Let’s go! Look at you. And you said I wouldn’t get it.
[LAUGHS] -I believed in you the whole
time, Joey, don’t worry.
-Yes. [JOEY SIGHS] She free. JOEY:After I rescue
all the men
we realized, “Okay,
we need to find
this damn golden spear.” Oh, there’s a note. Okay, let’s do this. JOEY: [READING]
“The Dragon Spear was carried
by the great general into battle “and is the sign
of a true leader. “The spear can only be found
by those who exhibit “the characteristics
of the great warriors of China. “Only of you can compete
in each of their challenges. “Once all tasks are complete “stand as one in front
of the fountain
in matching pose. “Failing a challenge
will result in your name
going into the voting pile. “Complete the tasks
in the following order, “breaking boards,
armored pull-ups, “archery practice,
and Chinese Chess.” -Okay.
-DESTORM: Who’s gonna
break the boards? If we wanna get this spear
we need to prove ourselves
to be great Chinese warriors. [DOOR UNLOCKS] [DOOR CREAKING] I don’t know who this Emperor is
but I already hate him. Mother, more women are here. Can you please talk to them?
I’m bored. The Emperor is rude.No wonder he’s single.But, on the end of his swordis a jeweled key.
So get to thinking,
if one of us tries
to actually marry him,
we could get that key. There’ll be three tests
for you to show your qualities
to the royal Emperor. The woman chosen will
become his bride-to-be and receive his protection
from the death challenge. The upside is,
if we are his bride then we don’t get sent
to the death challenge
and we’re safe. So I’m all in. The first test is of beauty. Select a wardrobe
you think that will cater
to the Emperor’s likes. Then you’ll parade
in front of him. You may go change. We’re all trying to survive,
even if it means dating
this rude Emperor. Okay, we got some outfits. COLLEEN: I think mom,
she’s a little delusional ’cause her son clearly does not
bat for this team. “A true master of martial arts “can easily break a board
with a… With their hand
in a single strike. “Wear this sash
and feel the chi.” Honestly, I feel like
this is gonna hurt my hands
so I don’t wanna do this one. But… are you better fit
to do this than the other ones? You’re gonna do those pull-ups
with the armor on? What’s that supposed to mean? I’m just asking. I mean, honestly,
this kinda goes with
my outfit, so yeah. -It was meant to e.
-There you go. I’ve never broken a board
before but I broke
a bitch’s nose before. And I’m like, I’ve been around,
like, I can do this. -Come on, Bretman, you got this.
-Don’t punch with your rings on. Girl, Bruce Lee
is my great-uncle. [CHUCKLES] One, two… -[JOEY GASPS]
-Whoo! -Wow.
-Okay. -Did I stutter?
-JOEY: Come on, strength. I was born to break boards. And I didn’t even know that.
Hiya, bitch. Bretman stepping up! I like Bret. Um, armored pull-ups. -Come on, let’s see it.
-Honestly, I… I feel like
I need to prove something because you’re all acting
like I can’t do this. DESTORM:You have to do
10 pull-ups, but you have to
wear a Chinese suit of armor.
With headgear. That’s crazy. ALEX: How heavy is this, guys?
Let’s see. -Oh, yeah.
-JOEY: Oh. Let me feel. -That shit
got some weight, huh?
-JOEY: Oh! ALEX: I might be able
to do it but I think
it’s up to you. Let me feel her. Joey’s not gonna
get this done.
There’s no way. I wanna show that
I am strong, okay? [EXHALES] These boys
gonna get us killed. You want me to try, you got it. -Ooh! [LAUGHING HEARTILY]
-JOEY: Don’t tell me
what I can’t do. There you go. All right. JOEY:This armor makes me
look like a badass
but it’s also heavy as hell. [SIGHS] Okay. DESTORM: We’re gonna die. ALEX: [LAUGHS] We’re gonna…
We’re gonna die. -DESTORM: You gotta go fast.
-Okay. [CLOCK TICKING] The first test is of beauty, and we’re supposed to pick
a wardrobe that catersto what the Emperor likes.Put the pin in my hair
and I can just be like… [MIMICS GUNSHOTS] In his… In his eyeball. [GASPS] -See, now you’re talking.
-I feel likeKill Bill.I’ve been told my whole life
that I’m “wifey material,” so whatever that means,
it may come in handy here. EMPEROR: Dance for me, but don’t look me
in the eyes when you dance. Oh. Okay. EMPEROR: Hmm. COLLEEN:So as much as I don’t
wanna participate in this,
I know that if I can
impress him enough, I can get to him, get that key
and kill that mother trucker. Walk back and forth
in front of the Emperor. Sure. His mom is bossy, and she would be
a horrible mother-in-law.So hopefully,
I can kill her too
if I marry him.
TANA:Everyone’s like,
closing up their robes,
and I’m like, “Okay, I’m
at least gonna like, ho it up.”I’m gonna open the robe,
I’m gonna have a little
body suit romance.
-EMPEROR: Flattering.
-[SIGHS] Hmm. Not very coordinated. Have you heard of twerking,
my king? Excuse me. If we get married
you can see it. Okay, that’s enough. I don’t care if your mom’s
right there, I’ll flirt with you right now. What would you like me to do? Flatter me. The way you’re fingering
those… two balls is very attractive. [SNICKERING] Emperor. [INHALES DEEPLY] She has unusual ears, but I think it’s her. Oh, my God. I guess the Emperor
really wants to know
what twerking is. And I don’t blame him. -One. There you go.
-BRETMAN: One. -Two. Okay.
-BRETMAN: Two. -Don’t stop.
-BOTH: Three. He gets on the pull-up bar,
starts knocking them out. DESTORM AND ALEX: Four. DESTORM AND ALEX: Five.
-Six. Come on. Come on.
Come on. Four done, five done,
six done. I’m shocked. ALEX AND BRETMAN: Seven. -[BRETMAN SCREECHING]
-ALEX: You got it. -ALEX AND BRETMAN: Eight.
-Joey, I give you the strength. -Yes!
-ALEX: Yes! -BOTH: Nine!
-One more. Come on. -[GRUNTING]
-Get it there! Yeah! Yes. -Let’s go!
-Miss Joey-anya. -That’s right.
-We doubted you. Oh, the look on their faces when I complete that task
on my first try. I’m getting shocked
by the whole squad tonight. -[LAUGHTER]
-So we have
the archery practice next. I got it. Let’s go. “One and only one “may take the bow
to strike the target
from behind the line. “Dawn this crimson headband
to gain eagle eyes.” ALEX:I see a large red target.It’s only like 10 feet away.This is gonna be easy. Have you shot
a bow and arrow before? -‘Cause I have.
-I have not. -‘Cause you just volunteered
not even knowing…
-Wait! Maybe Destorm
would be better at this. Yeah, but, no. DESTORM:Alex already
putting the sash on his head.
What the hell?I was bow and arrow champ. Okay, here we go. -What are you waiting for?
-It’s… -We don’t have time!
-Oh, my gosh. -Oh!
-That was way off. JOEY:Okay, first try.Practice, sure.
Second one he’ll get it, right? -Okay, I got it.
-[ARROW THUDS] -Did I get it?
-No. Oh, come on! Alex sucks at bow and arrow. Here we go. I got this. Get ready. Yes. God, what happened? -Did it not hit?
-We are not gonna
get the spear. Oh, my gosh! Okay, here we go. -Okay, listen up.
-[SIGHS] -Listen, Alex.
-Do you not know
how to hold a bow and arrow? Do you know how? -Like…
-Use your finger as a guide and pull it back
with your elbow flat. Okay, like that? -Okay.
-Well, we’re truly screwed. Apparently, bow and arrow
is not my thing. -Are you ashamed of yourself?
-I am. -You should be.
-You should. His name is definitely
going into this voting pile. The second test is etiquette. You must finish
all your dumplings
with chopsticks as quickly and as lady-like
as possible. ROSANNA:I spent a lot
of time in China.
I actually lived there
for a year, teaching English
nd we used chopsticks
all the time.
I am ready, I am trained,
I am prepared. Ladies, speed is very important. I start shoving
this stuff in my mouth
quickly but cutely and it tastes like garbage. Girl, I don’t want these
rank-ass 1940 dumplings.
That’s disgusting. Look over there. Look. Mmm-hmm. I am living for this. I have done so many
food challenges. This is like a mukbang. Delicious. Did you cook this? Thank you. Quite. -[COUGHS]
-ROSANNA: I have no clue what the other girls are doing. I’m just trying
to eat these dumplings
as quickly as possible. [GULPS] -TANA: Oh, my God.
-Delicious. -Emperor.
-EMPEROR: Hmm. This one was quite aggressive
with her mouth. Could be exciting. It was love at first dumpling. -I’m gonna do this.
-All right, come on, Destorm. -Go, Destorm.
-ALEX: All day. Okay. “You are the red player
about to begin a game
of Chinese Chess. “Follow the symmetrical
pattern of the pieces
already on the board “to complete setting up
for a new game.” Okay, let me set this up. Okay, so it says symmetrical, so you obviously have to
follow the pattern. So what’s on this side
should be on that side. BRETMAN:I noticed that
the chess pieces kind of
have to mirror each other
but not technically
mirror-mirror. It’s more like
this way is going that way
and that way is going this way. Here. Um, okay. I didn’t have anyone
helping me with
my pull-ups. Hmm. “When done,
perform the opening move “by sliding either
of your cannons sideways, “ending up just behind
your central pawn.” That’s it. Killed it. ROSANNA:The third test
is conversation.
We have to make
the Emperor laugh…
Hey, guys, it’s me Miranda.♪ Oh, you are
the little Emperor
♪ Yes, that’s so cool to… ♪[LAUGHS] I see Colleen go
and she does Miranda. And he laughed,
so I was like, “I can do that.” [MIMICKING MIRANDA]
Hi, my name is Miranda. [LAUGHTER] Check it out. Boring. -[YAWNS]
-It’s not as good
the second time around. Oh, gosh. ROSANNA:
I have a secret weapon.
I speak conversational
Mandarin Chinese.
So I’m thinking that
maybe my bad tones
will make him laugh. [SPEAKING MANDARIN] I’m not sure if [CHUCKLES]
he’s laughing with me or at mebut he cracks a smile.I thought the Emperor
would like it more if I gave him
a taste of his own medicine. I think if I were to come up
to you and challenge you instead of give you
what you want that internally,
you might laugh at that
a little bit more. Maybe in a sinister way. Tana. EMPEROR: I’m not sure
any of them qualify as funny… but if I had to pick
the least boring, I would say her. Oh. She got two
of those things now. Oh, my God. You will be my wife. Guess I’m going to a wedding. I will make
the wedding arrangements. The final thing
we need to do is pose
like these epic warriors. [PANTING] JOEY: All right, guys,
are you ready to pose? Yes, let’s do this. -Oh, shit.
-[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] That’s it. Oh, the spear. The Dragon Spear. How’d you fail on the arrows? I’m new to being evil, okay?
I… I’m working on it. [GASPS] I feel like
such a badass warrior. Okay, let’s go. Oh, my gosh.
Where are the girls? -Guys!
-Ro is about to get married. Married? Okay, so there’s this Emperor
and he picked whichever one
he thought was the most beautiful
and funny, and he picked Ro. I’m just so upset because
I would have entertained
the hell out of the Emperor. So they’re getting married and she’s gonna kill him
because there’s
a jeweled key on his sword. And where’d you get the outfits? They made us dress up
like this. He was kinky. DESTORM: Oh, okay, I like him.
ALEX: Huh. -What did you do?
-Oh, we got captured
by, uh, a dragon, and, uh… First of all,
we were blindfolded. So you guys were going
through some kinky stuff, too. Then we had to get
through some puzzles. We all accomplished our goals. Uh, we didn’t all
accomplish our goals. -We gave you an hour!
-Shit! Where is it?
We’ve been waiting for it! -Where is it?
-Oh, shit. He did know where
the Dragon Spear was. So you guys are gonna help us? We can get two inside
of the Emperor’s
wedding ceremony -to serve as distractions…
-Rosanna! …as we plot his death. -We’ll need the spear.
-ALEX: Oh. -They’re trying
to take the spear.
-Ooh. -I think…
-Our only bargaining chip. I think we can trust them.
Here you go. We’ll see you at the wedding. Okay. See you there. DESTORM: Wait, so you’re just
gonna let them walk away
with the spear and their swords? You could have at least
took the swords from them. What does it say? “The Emperor demands that
he be entertained
at his wedding “and desires to see
a duel to the death. “Two must be selected
by vote to battle
for the Emperor’s pleasure. “Choose your champions wisely.” I just wanna say Alex…
failed miserably outside… -Oh, my gosh.
-…and I feel like that
should speak for itself. Look, since Alex
did lose his challenge, -his name is already
given in the pile.
-[COLLEEN GASPS] I feel like everyone
in our group
really pulled our weight. I shook my ass for the Emperor
and his mom. I don’t think I wanna go
in this final death battle. All right, guys, one by one. DESTORM:So we can’t vote
for the girls.
Bretman showing out,
Joey did all them
damn pull-ups.I’m voting for Alex.ALEX:Colleen says to not
vote for the girls but…
Hmm. I’mma vote her anyways. TANA:Destorm’s always
trying to show off.
Like, we get it. You’ll go in.Okay, go.JOEY:Alex failed his task.I feel like if anyone
deserves to go in, it’s him. So how do I be evil? -I’m not evil.
-ALEX: Oh. I just wanna go home. I don’t know what’s going on
with Alex and Destorm.I thought Alex was a sweet guy.But it seems like he’s
trying to cross over
to the dark sideand I just don’t trust him.BRETMAN:I’m just tired
of Miss Alex.
I thought she was cute
but her attitude is not cute. The girls all decide
we’re going to vote for the guys because we had
been through enough.And I know if anybody
can save Ro, it’s him.
All right, that’s everyone. I’m gonna shuffle and draw two. First up… Alex. Surprise. Second is… Destorm. We’re once again enemies. There goes the alliance. History is repeating itself. Alex and Destorm
are going up against
each other yet again. And last time it didn’t… turn out so well for Destorm. [ROARING] [ROARING] [GRUNTING] It’s a whole damn fiesta
going on outside. [GASPS] The entertainment has arrived. Oh. [SIGHS] All right. “For this duel to the death
each must start “in their respective corners
of the tile map. “Taking turns,
each will move one step
to an adjacent square. “The tile you step off
will be turned over “and will then be out of play. “First to run out
of moves… loses.” -A death duel at our wedding?
-Of course, darling. Is this really tradition? Who picked that entertainment… monster-in-law? EMPEROR: Good luck. You’ll need it. [LAUGHING] You sure you wanna do that? [YAWNS] Mmm-hmm. What you got? [TILE UNHINGING] You’re lucky this isn’t
a physical challenge ’cause you would
have already lost. DESTORM: I don’t lose. -ALEX: Who do you think you are?
-You think we could’ve just done
maybe like the cha-cha slide? ALEX: You’re going to die… so soon. [GROWLING] -[ROARS]
-Looks like I still have
somewhere to go. -[TILE UNHINGING]
-Moves. ALEX: Hmm. How about you? [CHUCKLES] Oh, no. Okay. Oh, I made… I might have made a mistake here ’cause you look like
you got more squares
over there. I’m a little stuck. [TILE UNHINGING] You know what?
I play by my own rules. This is for Lauren. -[SCREAMING]
-[ZOMBIES GROWLING] Kill her. Kill her! [ZOMBIES GROWL] All I heard was
you killed Lauren. I didn’t kill her.
What do you mean? -Whoa.
-You moved diagonally. That’s cheating. Destorm. Did he just
sacrifice himself? Cheater? This just got
a lot more interesting. ROSANNA: Hubby, no,
that’s my friend. [GROANS] [GRUNTS] [DESTORM THUDS] Now I’m ready to be married. [SCREAMING] -[GROANS]
-[ALL SCREAMING] [GROANS] [ALL SHOUTING] [SCREAMING] [SHOUTS IN MANDARIN] China belongs to us now. -Grab the key, Ro.
-Okay, okay. Okay. Got it! Got it! -This is the Red Wedding.
What is happening right now? ALEX:I don’t know
what’s going on
but I got some conflicted
feelings about this. -Hey, guys, come on!
-ROSANNA: This is the worst wedding ever! I’ve never planned
a dream wedding, but none of these things
would be on my Pinterest board. -[CHUCKLING] Oh, guys.
-JOEY: Alex, you’re back! BRETMAN: Alex! JOEY: No!
ALEX: So much just happened. What happened to Destorm? So me and Destorm
were pitted against each other
in a battle to the death. Destorm was dead… again. Why do you look so happy? You guys know that
I’ve been exploring dipping my toes into
the evil side of stuff. But I just saw a lot of evil. -Uh-huh.
-And I don’t want
to do that anymore. -So I’m back. I’m back.
-Welcome back, Alex. You never really
actually were evil. -Just… Just saying.
-Hey, I was trying so hard. Please. Alex is as much
of a villain as I am straight. All right. Just be ready. [ELECTRICITY SURGING] [HORSE NEIGHS] -Death is coming for you.
-[ALL SCREAMING] What did we unlock now?♪ Should have come alone♪ Why you messing
with my throne?
♪ Got to keep you at a distance♪ Trying to ruin my name♪ Why, you play a wicked game♪ Welcome
to your warning rune ♪

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